Sarah Nyhan

I Gave Up

Photography

  • Running Scared

    First a photo from yesterday’s sunset.

    Again I ran into another brick wall today. I fought and kicked and did my best to break free. Nothing. Just exhaustion. And then tons of encouragement followed just when I was starting to feel abandoned. What gives?

    The thought came to me: I feel like God is “breaking” me. That sounds like a bad thing. But hear me out. The picture that came to mind was of a mistreated horse. Overwhelmed by fear. Jumping, kicking, running. How do they train such horses? They put pressure on them in order to help them conquer their fears. They don’t let them run away. They force them to face the situation calmly. And then when they settle down, they are rewarded with a release of pressure.

    Here I am, facing many fears. Over and over. Feeling mad at God because I feel like He is being mean to me and punishing me. I bet that’s what the horse that is being broken also thinks. But I picture God gently pressuring me. More pressure the more I fight. Less pressure and even comfort when I relax and rest in Him. When I see Him for who He is.

    Quite a beautiful analogy. He’s so patient. He lets me fight as long as I want. He knows eventually I’ll tire out and see He can be trusted. He does not hurt me. He keeps me safe. Knowing eventually I will trust Him more and more. Eventually I will calm down. Eventually I will face Him.

    And I have. From where I was in the beginning. But these are deeper and deeper levels of healing. So encouraged.

    I see how the horse trainers take the horses that have learned to trust them and use those horses to teach others to trust the trainers. And in that spirit, I post and share. Such a beautiful Genius, our Creator. My God and my Father.

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  • Big Bright

    Beautiful sunset to end the day.

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  • Idol

    “When you reject an idol, it’s an act of pure worship.” – Brad Jersak

    Only in Texas? Chocolate-covered jalapeños for Mother’s Day:

    And the kids finally are leaving the nest. Lined up, ready to fly. Born a few weeks ago.

    Today’s find. Probably old to others. New to me. Darius Rucker – For The First Time.

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  • Alright

    I was driving down a busy street today. I saw a large puppy cowering on the sidewalk. Afraid of all the traffic. Looking skinny and thirsty. I pulled onto the next side street. Sure enough he came over to me.

    “What am I going to do with this dog, Lord? I can’t have a dog right now. But how can I just leave him here?”

    A woman pulls up behind my car. “Is that a stray dog?” “Yes ma’am, I’m not able to take him.”

    I tell her how I found him. She offers to take him. I help her load him up in her car. Muddy paws on her seat, and all.

    Answered prayer. So quickly. Almost just as the words were thought in my mind. Amazing. Gives me confidence that everything else will be ok.

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  • My Kind

    Cleanliness, order, and precision. Quite impressive.

    I wish I could make everyone watch this who calls themselves a Christian:

    Andy Mineo – Clarity:

    I can relate:

    “Doubt has led us into faith”:

    The faith I claim is becoming less my own and more Christ’s. I find less and less security in any knowing and doing of my own. I find more and more security in who God is and His love for me. For us. All.

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  • Showing Up

    Jesus tells about God’s heart when He tells the story of The Shepherd leaving the 99 for the one. What you are doing may seem to you like drop of water in an ocean, but a drop of water to a thirsty person is everything. Nothing is too small to God.

    The God who created this unfathomable cosmos knows the exact number of hairs on your head. You matter, especially just as you are. Your heart has His heart. Billions of people, like billions of aspects of nature, each holding their own piece of God’s character to show off to the world. His love and joy is communicated through you.

    We tend to get lost in the knowing and doing. Versus just resting in being. Being loved by our Beautiful Magnificent Father.

    I pray you feel no shame and no condemnation. I pray you will embrace your lane. And flourish and relish in it and Him. God wanted you on planet Earth today. And He loves you very much. Shine bright.

    If a person doesn’t feel safe going to their earthly father, no wonder it never occurs to them to reach out to their heavenly Father. They have no frame of reference where that is a welcome possibility. Be as a child, He said.

    Maybe some fear physical paralysis. But emotional, mental, and spiritual arrest can be in similar manner no small debilitation. We rely on our own strength. How far, God? How much of ourselves can we put into Your hands? The physically paralyzed depend on You for all. May we not need that experience in order to know the depths of Your love, Your strength.

    I am not helpless. A lot of people in the world may have it worse than me. They might want to trade places with me. That does not mean my hardships are unreal. Just challenged to accept what is, look for the positive, acknowledge the negative, move forward, and make the best of it. Live.

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  • Face It

    “A moment will pass, but a movement will last.”

    “There is no power greater than love.”

    “Anytime you hold onto the past, for anything in any area of your life, it will show up in your habits, in your behavior. It shows up in the way you treat other people. It shows up in the way you feel about yourself. It shows up in your health. It has to come out in some form.”

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