The Sabbath was for man. Not for God. Maybe we rest our physical bodies every once and awhile, but do we rest inside our hearts, minds, and souls as a way of always being? Or do we refuse to rest? No condemnation. That’s the whole point.

A little doodling tonight as I listened to the message below:

From the “Judgment in Managerial Decision Making” textbook I’m currently reading: “Under the pseudocertainty effect, we are more likely to favor options that assure us certainty than those that only reduce uncertainty.”


When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. ‘Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?’ the servant asked.

“‘Don’t be afraid,’ the prophet answered. ‘Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.

And Elisha prayed, ‘Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.’ Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.‘”

He doesn’t bring us out into the desert to die! You are NOT abandoned! Ask God what He thinks of your situation. Versus trying to figure it out on your own. You need His peace that passes all understanding. Versus the words of a thousand well-meaning people. Don’t look at the waves. Look at The One who walks on all waters.

You are not alone! No, you are LOVED! To the ends of the earth. Around the galaxy and back. Over and over. Ask for Him to help you see. To help you see Him, yourself, and your place in Him. In His heart.

Your strength is not needed. Perfect love casts out fear. Rest. Be still; He is God. Your God. The same God of old. His love never fails. Ask Him to help you see.

2 Chronicles 20. Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. You will not need to fight. “when they began to sing…”


I was reading about the process of butterflies emerging from the cocoon. Apparently they need the struggle of breaking free from the chrysalis. The force and fight to free themselves from the darkness engages the needed biological processes to give their wings strength to fly.

Oh how often we want the strength to escape the struggle. And yet it is the struggle that gives us strength.

I pray along with the Psalmist:

“Remove falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches – feed me with the food allotted to me; lest I be full and deny You, and say, “Who is the Lord?” or lest I be poor and steal, and profane the name of my God.”

And from the Proverbs:

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”


“I’ve been living under an emotional amnesia I thought was peace, but God is making my heart real with rest.” – Bonnie Gray

I felt like Holy Spirit is saying that God is not the god I always thought was about demanding behavior changes to appease Him. I felt like Holy Spirit is saying all this journey has been to heal my mind/heart to see God as He really is. And who I really am in the process.

I asked God, “Why can’t You just make it happen instantly?” Felt like Holy Spirit responded, “You never would have believed it. I had to meet you where you were and lead you out step by step. The wound about who I AM is deep inside you.”

“Hide it under a bushel? No! I’m going to let it shine, let it shine, all the time, let it shine.”

When I fill myself up and keep everything to myself then there proceeds a lack of new revelation. For myself if for anything. I feel compelled to share for that reason and others.

However, sharing opens me up to problems all around. Real problems that impact my real life. I’ve always said I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not. But that’s easier said than done.

I’m sure it would be perfectly OK for me to sit silent. No condemnation. But I feel like I’ve been brought to this point for a purpose. I feel like this is the natural progression of a very long journey. To make a difference in one person’s life? Are all these problems worth that? I feel like one person is worth it.

I had the opportunity to speak to a large audience of several dozen people the other day. I received a standing ovation. Several people came up to me afterward. One lady told me her daughter in ninth grade was moved. None of it felt real to me. It felt like I was such a small part of whatever was happening that was greater than me. But a part nonetheless.

What would have happened if I’d let fear stand in the way? What would have happened if I cared more about my so-called reputation than spreading hope? The world doesn’t revolve around me. I’m not the only one. But I would have missed out. Another would have been given that opportunity. They might have done a better job. But I would have missed out on being a part of something bigger than myself.

Sharing hope gives my life meaning and purpose. I’m bored with being a consumer. The approval of others is too fickle to provide any direction. I feel like I’m already gone some days. Bags packed. Flight booked. The least I can do is make the best of the time I will be given. I don’t know whether that could ever be measured in this life. Probably will be given enough hints to keep me going. Hopefully without painful events to keep my head grounded.

Random thought: that Jesus died not as a payment to God on our behalf. But rather as a payment to us, in a figurative sense. For our requirement for justice that looks like physical death. Some people I know want Biblical proof of this. I’m not there yet. Just the thought that most religions I’ve heard of have a God that holds people accountable in the sense of requiring some behavior or some payment for wrongdoing. What if Jesus dying on The Cross, allowing us to kill Him, was to show that He is different? That He is the real God. That He is a God that loves. That his death was to show us how far He loves us – even to the point of us attempting to kill Him forever. That is not a God motivated by ego. That is a God that looks like the Good Shepherd. Going to the farthest reaches, stopping at nothing, to bring us back. To heal and restore us.

Track of the day: Chasing Marrakech by Zhu.