One Degree at a Time

I went outside this morning and I was hot so I took off my jacket. Wearing just a t-shirt on top, I checked the temperature thinking, “Wow, we must be in the 60s.” Nope! It was 44 degrees!!! What has happened to me?!?! Lol. I used to be the girl who wore sweatshirts as soon as it hit below 80 degrees. Makes me wonder what else we can get used to in life without even realizing it. For better or for worse.

Try

Try being perfect. Try only leaving room in your life for perfect people. Tell me how that works out for you.

Not saying we shouldn’t have standards, values, and boundaries. Just asking you what hill you want to choose to die on? As the phrase goes. Or maybe more directly: what issue are you going to murder this relationship over?

Don’t misunderstand; I have been a seasoned judge. To what effect? Eventually nobody is good enough. And you don’t even like your own company.

What will give? I don’t have a formula to give you. But do the benefits outweigh the offenses? Can we take our egos out of the equation?

If my life is happy, if I’m satisfied and enjoying my own life then I find I have much more grace for others. I can let them be. Let them work out their own junk with God without needing to take them to court or the guilotine over every thing.

Don’t get me wrong. There are some lines that shouldn’t be crossed. Some behaviors we shouldn’t enable. But what about the rest?

I need you. We need each other. Letting you in doesn’t mean I give you the key to everything. But can I have a conversation with you?

These things get easier as I find my security in Whose I am. Living loved. Imperfectly.

Famine

A thought this morning: that it is ok to be sad, to be in sadness. No need to rush and paste on a happy face with Bible verses at the ready. Jesus felt sadness. Deep sadness and grief. He, of all people, had assurance. He of all people had perfect heart and mind. And yet He cried deeply as time approached for The Cross.

What a comfort for us. Father God was well pleased with The Son and yet Jesus was not spared The Cross. In the same way, even if we don’t understand, that is proof that our circumstances have zero correlation with how much God loves us. Be it pride, anger, shame, confusion, grief, humiliation, etc crouching at the door to convince us otherwise.

I always remember how Jesus was affirmed by The Father and then immediately led into the desert for forty days of lack. Forty days of temptation. (As an aside, I wonder if there is any correlation with the Israelites’ forty years in the desert.)

On a different note, but kind of related, I was thinking just now: had it not been for the famine, Ruth never would have met Boaz. Had there been plenty of food, Naomi never would have left where she had established a presence and taken on the long journey that led Ruth to Boaz. They did not make that journey in the spirit of a joyous homecoming. They were both broken women.

Ruth didn’t know she needed a Boaz. Neither do we, spiritually speaking. We just get stuck most times in the doing of what we’ve always done. Sometimes we need something beyond our control to happen in order to be repositioned. We can get lost in the arguments related to God’s sovereignty and character in that regard. Or we can choose to trust.

Jesus sent His main guys, those in the thick with Him – He sent them out on the waters knowing that a storm was brewing. Yet He met them there also. He NEVER left them alone. He NEVER abandoned them. And He doesn’t leave us to ourselves or abandon us either. Whether we see it in the moment or not.

Lately Jesus’ words to the disciples keep coming to mind. Not so much a rebuke as an exhortation. “Why are you afraid?” He stills the seas and He stills the turmoils in my heart. He rests in absolute assurance of belonging in Trinity. And we can do the same.

Does that take away the pain of famine, the pain of losing a husband or children, the pain of shame, the pain of whatever Cross you are facing today? I dare say, absolutely not. BUT it is a frame for renewed hope. Just as our emotions cry, “Why have You forsaken me?” God hears and lifts us. If not in the physical present, at least internally. Manna for another day. Grace for another moment.

My words fail. You need God right now. God’s Presence. An encounter with Holy Spirit. Ask. With all your anger and all your tears. With all your unbelief. Ask.

Perfect love casts out fear.

Just Because

Finding silence is ok. I wait for you, Lord. All I need to know is I am with You and You are near. Like a very small child. Hold me and everything will be better. He does. All the time. I learn to listen. Circumstances put me in a place where I learn to listen. Where I can hear. Where life slows down to a crawl and quiets down to where it seems like I am aware of every breath. And He is good. It is my understanding that is incomplete. One day. As we are known. Until then… cleave. Unhindered by all that tells you it is unbecoming. And be embraced.