The other morning I am lying in bed with my eyes closed. All of a sudden it felt like someone turned on a light. My eyes were still closed but I could tell the room was brighter. I rolled over and opened my eyes and saw that the sun had risen and light was starting to enter the room through my window.

All of a sudden it hit me as a metaphor for spiritual awakening. We can be facing away from God, closing the eyes of our hearts, asleep to the truth in the darkness of our minds. But when His love shines upon us, we are compelled to turn around and see Him and ourselves and others clearly. Jesus rose and is our Light.

What amazes me is that the metaphor shows we are as dead in our darkness. It’s not me that turns to Him. But Him who finds me and brings me to life. He leaves the ninety-nine to gather all so that none are lost. Now that is comforting.

“If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall fall on me,’ even the night shall be light about me; indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You.” (Psalm 139)

I have a hard time letting go of people because I don’t want to throw them out like trash. Because I’ve experienced that rejection myself and it hurts and is mean. But there is a difference between throwing people out like trash and them throwing themselves out because they want to act up.

Boundaries are different from rejection. Boundaries say I respect you and this relationship so much that I don’t want us to hurt each other. Boundaries say I would love for this to work out and it’s your choice if you want to be healthy with me or not.

Here’s a #NeverGiveUp story for you:

A very generous friend gave me a vacuum for a gift when I moved into an apartment almost two years ago. It worked great. But my long hair jammed it up over time. The motor was working but the brush stopped spinning.

So as I’m aiming to make the best use of my time off from working, I’ve been attacking my mega to-do list of things I put off when I was in school full-time. Today was “fix the vacuum day”.

So I went to the vacuum repair store and the guy tells me a belt and something else needs to be repaired. He tells me he doesn’t have any parts for my vacuum in the system and tells me he will have to call his vacuum rep and have the part ordered if it’s even available. He then tells me he’s never worked on Black & Decker vacuums before. I tell him thanks for his time and get out of there.

Then I call a Black & Decker factory authorized shop in town. They tell me they don’t repair them. They just replace them if I have the receipt and it’s still under warranty. Well it was a gift so even if that was an option, I wouldn’t want to go to all that trouble.

So I go online and look up how much a new vacuum costs, check to see on Craigslist if anyone is offering to repair vacuums, and then I’m like: “This is ridiculous! I know this has to be an easy fix.”

So I put my big girl pants on and search the Internet for help. I land on a page for central vacuums, dead end. I land on a few other dead ends. Finally a site that is simple.

End up pulling out my cordless drill, unscrewing the bottom off the vacuum, and finding the broken belt. A few Internet searches later after I find the model number, a trip to Walmart for the $4 belt, and a quick five minute replacement of the belt and my vacuum is working again!

Feeling like a BOSS! #grrrlpower #nevergiveup #nuncaterindas

A wilderness experience does not always mean you have done something wrong or are being punished.