I’m afraid that I have the freedom to say no to God as much as I want. I think He works for our good with whatever we give Him without removing the natural consequences of our decisions. Ask Adam and Eve. Ask Judas. Now I understand weeping and gnashing of teeth. He lets me choose my teachers. Not as punishment, but for eventual right knowing.

My midlife crisis involves realizing I won’t always have time. Sometimes what’s done is done. Ask Moses. And yet we see Moses on The Mount of Transfiguration. What blessed hope! Outside in this world but inside The Promisedland that really matters.

I’m struck by how out of all the trees in Eden, Adam and Eve chose the knowledge of evil versus life. Even after they messed up. They hid in their dying instead of reaching out for life. So many of us have the same sense. Thankfully that wasn’t the end of the story for them or us.

Tue 11/7/2017 1:15 AM

I really hate speaking on this stuff, but I feel there is a danger in staying silent. I absolutely despise using the real pain of the tragedies of real people to talk about these issues. But I’m afraid of what will happen if we don’t speak on these things.

We have bigger problems than just guns. But it’s probably less terrifying to blame guns instead of facing all the other problems.

If there was such a choice, I’d vote to shut down the media before I’d vote to take away guns. The media isn’t our only or biggest problem, but I think the current media coverage we allow and feed contributes more in the long term to what is happening than guns contribute. Both are used for good or evil depending on who is behind the tool.

Getting super vulnerable and personal: when I was a young teenager, I self-harmed. Well-meaning people incorrectly thought the solution was just to take sharp things away from me. But I managed to figure out how to use plastic off my shoelaces and erasers to hurt myself. It was only through His love and the love of others that my bigger problems were solved and I stopped causing that harm.

Do you see the point? If someone wants to do damage, they will find a way. I wish we lived in a world where there were no guns or nuclear weapons. But we don’t and the chances of that happening are close to impossible. So I’d rather the good guys have equal access to those same tools in order to correctly use them when appropriate.

Have we not learned from the failed wars on drugs and illegal immigration? Just because there is a law doesn’t stop anyone from doing what they really want to do. I’m not for anarchy, but I’m also not for oversimplified insufficient answers either.

I personally think the reason many media are so quick to make many tragedies into gun issues is because there is a sicker more powerful group of people who have a vested interest in wanting the little guys to give up their guns or have them taken away. Follow the money.

I think there is a pattern of people from those groups using, and God-forbid possibly even making, some tragedies to push their agenda. I think well-meaning people manipulated by fear join in the chorus hoping the solution is that simple and those in power can be trusted.

Probably a lot of people silently agree. The only reason I can speak on it in spite of the terror that swells up inside of me is because even in the worst case scenario, I know Something better will be waiting for me on the other side of this life.

I don’t know if it’s possible to stop whatever train we’re all on right now. I absolutely do not have a death wish, but that thought makes putting one foot in front of the other every day feel like walking through quicksand.

But I’ve read the stories and I know Someone who is bigger than the worst this human race can conjure up. So I don’t give up. I keep pushing hope. Cause Love is that wildcard that can change the whole narrative. We saw it happen during Harvey in Houston.

If everyone woke up and instead of staying glued to their screens, started cleaning up their own little circles of chaos, I’d say we’d have a fighting chance to course correct.

For goodness sake, don’t make it easy on them by giving into the constant use of fear to manipulate. There are more of us than there are of them. And there is a bigger picture.

“Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Oh my goodness! I started researching the Passover. MIND BLOWN! Seeing it with new eyes of union, versus separation, is making my heart LEAP with joy!!! So, so many pictures.

I spent just two hours already this morning in it. Matza and chametz. I feel like I could spent six months going through every little detail. So beautiful. So amazing in the eyes of union. God loves us so much!!

Seeing the Passover with eyes of union versus separation: MIND BLOWN! Wish I had more time to delve into every detail. God loves us so much.

I learned last week that the word “apocalypse” means “an uncovering”.

I’ve always associated the word apocalypse with the end. So I thought it was really interesting then to think about how the beginning involved a covering. After Adam and Eve ate of the tree.

What is being covered and uncovered? Just sin? Or our wrong thinking about God and who He is and who we are to God? I’m not quite sure yet. Food for thought.

I learned last week that the word “apocalypse” means “an uncovering”. We associate the word apocalypse with the end. I thought it was really interesting then to think about how the beginning involved a covering. After Adam and Eve ate of the tree. What is being covered and uncovered? Just sin? Or our wrong thinking about God and who He is and who we are to God? I’m not quite sure yet. Food for thought.