Sarah Nyhan

All my fears found me. I lost the career. I got the cancer. Everyone left me. The people I wanted most left and/or died. I did pass out in public and the ambulance was called. The bills still aren’t paid. Even a stranger pulled a gun on me. I ended up homeless. I could go on and on.

I hate to admit this, but it was both the most awful and best thing. I finally gave up. So much more to say. But yes, letting go was a big relief.

I feel like I am climbing my way back up somewhere now. Not how I was headed before.

I don’t at all miss the fear. I understand every day everything, and I do mean everything, can go “wrong”. But at this point death would be relief. 😂

So I kinda just look expectantly towards the adventure of each day now.

I always say I am going to roll out of this life like the last car in a demolition derby. I lost all face with people whose goal is to do the opposite. But turns out those weren’t my people anyway. They never really liked me. They were just entertained by watching me fall like they feared they never could.

It IS a lot. But it is what it is.

I got lost in the sauce there with explaining what I wanted to explain. But basically my real Life started over once I stopped fighting all my fears finding me.