Sarah Nyhan

Your love hurts. Your words don’t add up. You say a lot of right things. But there is not enough heart behind them. Not enough soul. Not enough spirit. Like icing on a cake. Shocks me awake but doesn’t fill me up. Just keeps me high for a little while. Your love isn’t enough.

Just like going to sit in pews. The same for me now. Lots of going through the motions. With whitewashed empty tombs.

I used to not know better. Because I was a kid. It didn’t occur to me for the longest that someone would say something without backing it up. Why live like that? It is so much more difficult. Just be honest.

I can’t save you. I can’t rock you out of your fear. I’ve tried. A zillion times over. I have to let go. I have to let Love reveal truth to you. I can’t do it no matter how much and how hard I try.

You know this. You’ve given your all to this and that dogma. To a dog and pony show here and there. Has anything really changed? Anyone? You aren’t a robot. You aren’t here to be used. And neither am I.

You have to close yourself down in order to keep on this path. I’m not going to do that with you. You can tell yourself that words are enough. But you also know that’s not true.

I love you so much that I can’t live a lie for you. Even if you think you want me to. I need the real you back. And you do too.