Have you heard of the term “moral licensing”? It’s basically where you do good things and then the subsequent confidence you feel allows you to not feel as bad about doing wrong things.
The typical example is the corporation that is polluting the environment but dismisses taking any action on that problem and instead donates money maybe to something like a food bank. Or the CEO who is knee deep in stealing money but thinks writing checks to charities or paying for his mother-in-law’s 24/7 homecare makes up for this thefts.
All to say lately I’ve noticed that people tend to use their religiosity as a mental buffer to shield themselves from the true impact of their poor choices. Especially as it pertains to interpersonal relationships.
Jesus tried to tell us with the story of the Good Samaritan. Here this outsider takes better care, shows more love, than the religious elite.
I’ve been in groups where the religious elite are catered to. Where people go way out of their way to show off for the religious elite. And yet those same people treat the ones at the bottom as if they don’t exist.
But you sing your songs, you read your books, you listen to your speakers, you give money, you pray, and you volunteer. You tell people how to live their lives, but are you in relationship with them? And here is the real kicker, do you consider them family? Do you consider them an equal? Not someone to talk down to.
All your songs, readings, alms, prayers, etc. – what do they mean if those you interact with don’t feel loved. You can’t ask. But you can see it in their eyes, whether they are pleased or not.
I’m now realizing that for decades I’ve been incorrectly blaming God for my bad decisions. All under the guise of “seek first the kingdom of God”.
Sarah Nyhan 