Sarah Nyhan

Yeah, there are problems. Yeah, there are people that are a problem. But the bigger problem to me is y’all don’t think either are a big enough problem.

Y’all are perfectly fine to sit down to dinner with these folks. Without saying or doing a goddamn thing.

Y’all go to church, y’all go to synagogue, y’all go to temple, y’all pray over and over and over and over. For what? For who?

When you clearly believe the devil has more power than God. When you clearly worship those who do bad versus those who do good.

And that’s a really tricky slope. I understand only God can judge. But let’s not get caught up in nuances here. Some things are pretty simple.

It’s your choosing the oppressors over the oppressed. That’s what infuriates me.

Especially when you have the audacity to do so in the name of God. As if praying and tithing is enough. And excuses you.

Your cowardness infuriates me. Point blank period.

I’m not angry and depressed for no reason. There are probably over six billion reasons just to get started.

I.e. the majority of people who just sit and stare. Watching as others are slaughtered right in front of them.

Doing absolutely nothing about it. At best.

Colluding, enabling, covering it all up, and then blaming and gaslighting the victims at worst. If they manage to avoid directly participating.

It would be one thing if these people were direct and up front. But no, what infuriates me is this is all done in the name of Jesus.

I’m depressed not so much because of Hitler. But more so because an entire continent of people participated in annihilating their neighbors. And then thinking they could avoid responsibility by blaming one man.

I’m not depressed so much because of Hitler. I’m depressed because one by one people boarded the trains without fighting back. And then the same thing happens today. Over and over. People submit and comply without advocating for themselves.

All for what?! Why?!

So we just give up and let evil win? In the name of Jesus? In the name of God? That’s YOUR legacy?

I’m not depressed for no reason.

When you read about what was done to slaves. And then realize there were a lot of comfortable people on the sidelines watching it all happen. Doing nothing while it all went down.

And then it happens again in different ways all around us still today. People still okay to turn a blind eye because they’re profiting off other people’s unending pain.

At least y’all could vote with your money. But no, let’s be lazy and dig our heads into the sand. Willingly.

I’m not depressed so much because there are people out there raping children over and over and over and over. All hours of the day and night. If it was just a few people out there doing it then the problem could be solved. But no, I am intensely angry and depressed that there are billions of people idly standing by and letting it all happen day in and day out. And then denying it’s happening. And then blaming the victims for daring to acknowledge it’s happening. And then acting like victims are the problem if they dare to express anger about it all. Or any emotion other than positivity in the face of so much crime.

That’s what I’m pissed about.

That all y’all think so little of God that you’re completely cool with Their kids getting eaten alive. Specifically while you do nothing about it.

And even worse then go on to contribute to the child’s demise by completely invalidating them.

How am I supposed to feel motivated to contribute to that kind of society? How am I supposed to be happy when all that’s going on?

Just pretend it’s not all happening all around us? Like y’all do? That’s the most toxic positivity bullshit ever. That cowardness. Clearly doing nothing to solve the problems.

I can’t stop the predators. I’m not that strong. But I don’t have to further traumatize the victims by acting like nothing is going on. Or enabling predators when I know what’s going on.

And am I perfect in that? No. But at least I fucking try. Which is way more than most of you do.

Where y’all believe in the power of the devil more than the power of God. Your actions and lack of action clearly proves it.

Not just once. But minute after minute. Hour after hour. Day after day. Year after year. Decade after decade.

The abuser may have acted overtly a number of times. But the crime of your lack of support, your lack of action has been going on 24 hours a day for decades.

You’ve had all this time and you continue to do nothing. You continue to reject your responsibilities. Your crimes of inaction continue even when the active threats have stopped.

That’s why you are hated and despised. Because you have the power to do some very important things. But you refuse to do anything. And thereby continue to make things worse.

In short, because you refuse to care. Which is not Love at all.

You continue to choose the side of the abusers. And then want us to act like you aren’t. Like we’re just supposed to ignore everything and let you off the hook.

Maybe because that’s what you did to everyone who hurt you.

But how is that doing anyone any good?

Forgiveness is not me saying any of that is okay.

Forgiveness is me not ripping your head off every single day when you all completely deserve it.

I’m so sick of forgiveness. I’m sick of everyone just taking my forgiveness for granted day in and day out for year after year after fucking year. And then telling me forgiveness should mean I can’t even talk about it.

Fuck that. And fuck you.

Fuck all the people who do nothing. Who watch all this evil going down and then do nothing. Except tell the victims to shut up, “forgive”, don’t dare say or do anything to acknowledge what’s been going on, and continue to lay down.

Fuck all the people who continue telling the victims to sacrifice themselves to the predators so nobody has to step up and do anything. Or even dare feel uncomfortable.

It’s all fucking bullshit. It’s all a disaster. It’s all depressing.

And the best you can do is tell me I’m wrong for feeling angry and daring to express my thoughts about it all.

Fuck you and your cowardice. Fuck all of you cowards.

I hope you choke on that damn Bible and every other religious text you use to justify your lack of action. And your silence. And the way you continue to traumatize those who are hurting. All in the name of God.

It’s fucking bullshit.

And anything else you say or do other than step up falls on deaf ears. And frankly is insulting.

You’re not the victim because people hold you accountable. You’re not a victim because people express their thoughts and feelings about you and your lack of action.

You don’t get a pass just because you’re passing on what was done to you. It doesn’t work like that.

Just because you didn’t hold anyone accountable doesn’t mean you deserve for nobody to hold you accountable. That’s more bullshit. Not a solution to all this shit.

Just because you didn’t express your anger and other thoughts and feelings about what was done to you doesn’t mean anyone else is wrong for doing otherwise. Expecting others to eat shit just because you did is more of that bullshit. And I’m not here for it. Even if everyone else complies with your demands.

I was NEVER taught to advocate for myself. The fact that y’all think that I have more audacity to protect myself than other people do to hurt me – that’s the whole damn problem. The whole sickness. That I am COMPLETELY tired of.

That the best you want for me is to quietly lay down and die.

And then expect me to be thankful and “positive”. Or else I’m the problem. I’m the one you shun. Not the predators.

That’s not forgiveness. That’s some fucking bullshit.

But clearly I can talk until I’m blue in the face. And nothing will change. Except I get beat up. So fuck even posting this. It’s all for naught. People have to get sick of it in their own time I guess. Even the victims. They’ll sometimes be the first to throw me under the bus.

I’m not here for that anymore. I guess distancing myself even from the conversation is better for me now. Since I retraumatize myself every time I put my heart out there for them to crush.

Nobody cares enough. Until they do. And that time is clearly not now. How many times do I have to get punched and kicked in the gut before I get that through my head.

Only God can change them. I’m done.