Sarah Nyhan

Here’s a song from my heart.

The bone cold winters you rolled over us,
We look and we look for your carcass,
But even though you kill everyone else,
For some reason you never die.
And all you left us was keep asking God, “Why?”

I no longer care for talk of Love,
Even if they say it exists above.

I’ll never have peace until you are dead,
Yet they say I’m the one sick in the head.

Because I think it’s important kids don’t get hurt,
Their faces pushed down,
They hearts stomped around,
Their souls black and blue…

Meanwhile you…

Get off scott free,
Feast after feast.
Full to the slimy fat gills.
Of yourself and everyone else.

And we…
Hungry.
Homeless.
Hopeless.

Where are You, Big King Jesus?

No more hustle over here.
No more positive self-talk.

Where are You, this supposed God I’m supposed to believe in?

For what?

Some pie in the sky on the other side?
Someday?

That’s what all these years are for? 
Just to fly away after being completely used up by those that don’t give any damns?

I’m not a good person. 
I’m tired of laying down…
My whole damn life.

When is it our turn?
When will it EVER be our turn?
Goddamn it!

It’s not just the Internet that’s dead.

I don’t know what joy was before You, Messiah.
But I don’t see the point at all from this perspective.

It’s been 2,000 years at least, right?
For this?!
Just for this?!

At what point do we just call it?

When will You show up, God?
Will you ever be there for Your children?
More than just watching us suffer from afar?
Day after day.

Us who keep turning the cheek over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, in YOUR name. For this?!

For this?!

Oh, great – we work our whole lives just to end up exactly like them? That’s the point? 

Yay, horrible stuff leaves people completely fucked up. We really needed to know that so bad? Before anything else? Or forever? I don’t get it.

Is there nothing else to look forward to? 
Without more children dying?

I don’t want victory. 
I want peace.
I want happiness.
I want real hope.

Not just endless stupid dreams. That make me a complete damn fool to everyone else time and time again. In Your name, mind You, King Jesus.

That’s what’s so goddamn important? Cutting me down to size until there’s nothing left? While they keep bulldozing over everyone so unfortunate to meet them? That’s what’s so goddamn important?

I don’t get it anymore.
I’m tired of theories and theology.
I’m tired of psychology. 
I’m tired of philosophy.

I need some action.
A goddamn miracle. 
Or 5,000.

How’s that for Truth and honesty?