A continuation of my attempt to finish a book I started in December 2017. Posting chapters in an attempt to organize it all and finish.
Life was so busy once we moved into Manna House. It was putting out one fire just to jump to the next. All day long. Day after day.
Misty was in charge, but she lived a few blocks away. Julie and I were the ones living onsite. And I was on duty from when Julie left in the morning to go run her business until she returned back in the evening after finishing her work. My only day off was Sunday. So it was a long week. Sixty to seventy hours.
Unpaid, mind you. Because I was proving to God how much I trusted Him, right?
“Go and sell all your possessions, give to the poor, and follow Me”, right?
That’s how God would know I was really serious and really loved Him, right?
I mean Jesus said it, right?
This had been following me all my life. When I was a little girl, just a teen or barely twenty-years young, I would be driving over an hour each day to work in Austin. At my tech job. And this sinister thought would harass me over and over as I was driving, “You don’t really trust God. If You really trusted God then you would let go of the wheel.” Going over seventy-miles per hour down Interstate 35.
And I’d sit there in the car as I was driving and start crying. Telling God that I was sorry. That I didn’t have enough faith to let go of the wheel. In retrospect, THANKFULLY! But back then I felt like a failure.
Where did those thoughts even come from?
Everyone else will let You down, but not me, God. You can count on me.
I’m going into Manna House thinking that I am just going to be a supportive person in the background. But I was so busy that it didn’t even dawn on me that I had become the main one there all the time. Even though I certainly didn’t feel qualified.
Misty initially came over to give a Bible study every day, but just like with the childcare we were supposed to be doing together at the church, she eventually handed it over to me. I could only be irritated for a minute because it didn’t come as a surprise. Yet God knew exactly what He was doing with Misty and I. Exactly who He was choosing.
I only led one or two Bible studies in my entire life up to that point. But God had prepared me with those other two studies. Spirit had shown me what to do. Just seek and pray. Then do my best. And it was really cool to see God take over my efforts.
So that’s how I proceeded with the daily Bible studies at Manna House. At first I was really scared I would mess up, but then they became one of my two favorite things about being in that position. We had some great conversations.
It was difficult because the ladies never seemed particularly thrilled to do mandatory Bible studies every day. And looking back now, I don’t blame them and wouldn’t do it that way if it was up to me.
But maybe that part of being there was more for me. Because it sowed a seed that remains to this day. And was a major catalyst for what would become one of the biggest things between you and I.
In like manner, also the cooking. Until that point, I was a perennial bachelorette. My skills were pretty limited to making cornbread and microwaving nachos. I was scared of everything in the kitchen.
My mother and at least one grandmother were great cooks, but they didn’t take the time to pass those skills onto me. Granted I only became interested at the start of my mother being a single mom. So she was busy. But I was still shooed away when I asked questions. So I had given up long before.
And then here comes Misty tasking me with planning a week worth of meals every week. When I could barely feed myself. Hilarious. Yet another example of God’s humor. The irony was definitely not lost on me.
But like everything else, I took it seriously. It would initially take me hours every week. But to my great surprise, not only did I get the hang of it – but planning and making meals became one of my favorite parts of that Manna House experience. I was so surprised that could happen in me. God’s ways continually amaze me.
“God has chosen that which is the foolishness of the world to confound the wise, and God has chosen that which is the weakness of the world…”
Every Thursday we would have “Family Night”. It was intended to be a night where the women staying at the house would have a healthy example of what it looks like to be in a family. Spending time together in Peace and without violence. As probably most of them experienced chaotic childhoods at best.
This was the only time men were brought in to spend time at the house. And it was also a time where we invited those who had blessed Manna House with donations of service or resources to eat with us.
I was primarily in charge of putting this on. Sometimes with upwards of twenty people in attendance. Me, the girl who previously considered microwave nachos as cooking. And now I am throwing full-blown dinner parties. Again, incredibly hilarious.
But also lots of fun even though it was a ton of work. I had to plan the meal, plan for all the guests, plan the logistics of how to get everything setup and warm on time to serve, and then clean up after everyone went home. It would take me from early in the morning until almost ten o’clock at night before I was done. Every Thursday.
But here is the point: I loved every minute of it. Even with my broken foot in so much pain that I could barely stand. I was flowing in the real Spirit, full of Love and joy the whole time. So much work but I never felt like my cup was being drained to empty. Exactly the opposite; as soon as it was over, I was excited to start preparing for the next one.
Putting on those Family Nights at Manna House was one of the things I missed most when I left. Maybe that experience was primarily to sow yet another seed in me. Yet again leading to something significant in the future between you and I.
We focus so much on the present. We reasonably think a good thing should be an end, a destination. We’re comfortable here. We resist the call to move on. Because we don’t see the vision. We can’t yet comprehend what more looks like. Even as we pray for it. We don’t understand what God is doing.
Sarah Nyhan 
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