Sarah Nyhan

I was praying this morning like I remember Paul Young saying, basically, “I give up on figuring things out, God – I just want to be a part of whatever You want to do.”

I am trying to figure out if God is asking me to stand with Him in this knowledge with my old church, where there are many people I love. How do I handle that? My preacher/church definitely does not believe these things I’ve been learning. I don’t want to go back and cause trouble in my own strength. Or more importantly, get tired, forget, and get lost in the old way of thinking.

I remember how I was sent Baxter’s videos a long time ago. I tried to listen to them, but for whatever reason it wasn’t clicking.

But then God actually put the desire in my heart to find them again and listen. And at the same time I ran across that Paul Young interview with Oprah. And the rest is history.

So this wasn’t forced on me. Others were just participating.

So my mind wonders if this thought to go back to my old church is from me, God, or the enemy.

I keep going in circles trying to figure out what to keep and what to throw away. What is from God and what is that old guilt I am so used to hearing and can never figure out who it belongs to.

I need the answer from God.