Sarah Nyhan

From Sojourner to me:

Remember we are all included! Plus we are all broken.

From me to Sojourner:

Thank you. My mind is going five hundred thousand directions. I’m tired.

But I’ve been doing what you suggested and not trying to figure it out so much. And ask God to give me His answer. That results in deep peaceful sleep – which is good and a rarity for me.

This is all drawing me closer to Him than maybe ever before.

I was all excited at first. But then I talked to people about it. And even my closest female friend is now distancing herself and treating me like I am bad. Which made me really sad. But mostly frustrated. Because they don’t even take the time to listen and look into what is being said. They reject it without even knowing what they are rejecting.

So I’m coming to the conference with a big bag of mixed emotions and thoughts. Mainly coming to listen. It still seems like a divine appointment.

From Sojourner to me:

It IS hard when your brain is exploding. Just rest and know His love is bigger than our angst.

Don’t worry about friends right now. Some just can’t hear because of fear.

It’s our job (if that’s the right word) to take one step at a time. All God ever wanted was for us to let him love us.

This is not a MLM sales meeting and you will not be required to sign on the dotted line. Just listen as you can and ask the spirit to open the eyes of your heart to see the Truth. My experience is she is more than able to do that.

By the way, all who come into this have the same response as you.

Did you look at Baxter’s book “Patmos”?

We are all human and have made God in our image, projecting all our control and judgments on Him. And then trying to appease an angry God of our imagination.

When He reveals himself as a God of love, we scream, “That cannot be true!” That’s because we are all blind. Thankfully, he is patient and the Spirit persistent.

Just come this weekend and be loved. 

Ask others what they think and be bold to reach out. After all, you may never see them again.

Just leave all self-consciousness in the toilet. Don’t forget, we are all broken.

By the way I think I sense you might be reserved as you might think I would judge you in some way. Never! I know you well and am so proud of your courage. I sent you my story to let you know I’m still in process… also.

Showing up is 90% of what’s required in life, eh?

Peace, Sojourner.

P.S. Reread what I wrote about living in mystery.  I think much of my turmoil came from thinking knowing about God was more important than living in his love… and mystery.  Remember Papa’s wink and gentle urging to give up on questioning. While knowing about God is good, living IN him is life.

One last thought. I reread your note and focused on your getting good sleep and feeling closer to God. Hmmmmm. Think that comes from the enemy? Me neither. Rest in that.

From me to Sojourner:

Exactly! It was peace that passes understanding.

What you just wrote is a big hug and lots of love for my heart. Thank you so much! It is the nicest push out of my thoughts and back into resting. I can relate to everything you said. Helps SO MUCH to hear you say it and know you have gone before down this road. I honestly don’t think I could hear it from anyone else. God is smart; He knows I trust your heart.

So much more I could say. I’m going to rest now, but I think I need to eventually write down my thoughts.

I haven’t read Patmos yet. I will try to read it before the conference.

I’m not sure what you mean about me being reserved. I’m interested if you want to elaborate. Mostly I just get attacked with all these thoughts saying, “Sojourner doesn’t really care, you’re not going to fit in, who do you think you are, people are going to look down on you, etc.”. But I’m pretty sure all that comes from the enemy who wants to steal my joy and ruin this for me.

I could go on and on, but I don’t want to right now. Just want to sit in being loved for right now.

Thank you again! Looking forward to whatever is next in this adventure.

July 30, 2017 – From Sojourner to me:

Yup. That’s what I meant by being reserved. Use whatever word you can. The truth is Ophis (Greek for Satan) wants to give us the perception of being less than and separated, cutting us off from the Body of Christ and Papa’s acceptance of us as we are.  If the enemy does that, we are at the mercy of his lies!

Life lies in relationship, so if he can make it scary then we hang back, listening to his lies that lead to death of our spirits.

Probably too complicated for short note. That’s why Papa is giving us all a whole weekend to experience being loved.

May the God of all joy fill you completely. (Read it and live it!)

From me to Sojourner:

Oh wow! That all makes sense. About being cut off. I’m so glad you shared that.

Yes, I was thinking of just going and hiding away and avoiding everyone at the conference so I could avoid my anxiety. What you wrote helps me have more courage to show up and not hide. And not to listen to all those condemning thoughts.

I said yes to going to the conference without knowing the theme (Living Loved). Then I read the theme and it seemed like even more of a divine appointment.

Years ago I thought walking with God was all about having enough faith. Then when that fell through, I tried to think walking with God was doing everything perfectly. Again, massive failure.

So at the beginning of this year my theme became unearned GRACE. All year I keep hearing God say, “I love you just as you are. You don’t have to change in order to be loved.” What?! So difficult to get that into my performance-oriented mind. But exciting when I can accept and live in it.

From Sojourner to me:

Yes indeed. Stay the course and listen to the Spirit. The courage of Jesus abides within us all. Paul reminds us in Romans that the spirit/power that raised Jesus from the dead abides in you! Check it out.  Also 360+ times in scripture we are told to not be afraid… hmm, wonder why God knew that was so important.

From me to Sojourner:

My favorite verse in the Bible is in 2 Chronicles 20. Something along the lines of: “This big thing is before us and we don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on You.” And then the following verses go something like: “Do not be dismayed or afraid; it’s God’s problem, not your problem. Stand STILL and see the salvation of The Lord.” And then they go forth putting their praise before their fear and before their fight. And God shows off for them. I think that’s what you are saying also.