Sarah Nyhan

Crazy rain. Couldn’t sleep. Kept having the same thought come to me several times since yesterday.

It is the word “vision”. I was thinking about how there have been a couple of times in my life where I had parts of a vision of sorts. A stronger than normal consistent desire for specific things to happen. And then those specific things happened almost exactly as I desired them. Things so specific and coincidental that I choose to say it was God moving.

Contrast that to when I seem to attempt to orchestrate a plan in my own strength. There seems to be a lot of mental work but no vision. Hours, days, weeks of work in my mind. Yet I am not able to “see” clearly when I am in my own strength. It’s all intellectual and logical but there is that missing element of “vision”.

Not that I shouldn’t plan. But those dreams/visions always involved a reaching of sorts. Something that appeared too good to be true. Unlikely based on circumstances at the time. No evident hope at their conception. Dreams that required a big God. I was just too young and green to out-think my faith at the time.

Sometimes this brain of mine is a blessing and a curse. I can think up every reason not to move forward with what I believe God has put on my heart because of what I can sense in the physical versus remembering how He has moved amazingly before and what He is capable of.

I say this as I turn down an interview for yet another a job in Austin. I realized yesterday that God has never given me a vision for Austin. That’s all me trying to get some semblance of logical control over the direction of my life. Instead of walking on water with Him.

He is for us. He’s not against us; maybe when I can put to death that thought in my mind then the enemy won’t keep pressing that button.