Sarah Nyhan

As an abused person, you are ALWAYS looking for safety. You think there is someone out there that will never hurt you. You call only THAT Love. 

And I don’t blame you. I never will.

But I don’t think it exists like that. Like the global collective conscience currently promotes. 

I’ve met probably easily over 20,000 people so far in the past 15-20 years. That’s probably a pretty good dataset. And I haven’t yet met someone safe enough to meet my standards. 

I pushed them all away. All I have is myself left now. And turns out even I am pretty shitty company many days.

You’ll need people someday. I promise you. Just think about that at least. 

I know it hurts. I just don’t have any other answer. 

Unfortunately it’s like they told us all along, for better or for worse: What would you want someone to do for you if you were in their shoes? If the roles were reversed?

It might not be fair, but it just might be true. What we’re actually working with. Outside of the completely reasonable ideal.

Sorry. 

You can keep looking, but I’ve been at this decades. 

I don’t think Jesus is coming back the way y’all been sold. 

Unfortunately I think it’s up to us. The complete opposite of what you were promised. 

Right or wrong, I think we’re all stuck here until we get it literally together. Not even one little lamb lost.

I wager our souls don’t get relief when the physical body gives out. How else am I supposed to understand Jesus talking about spirits roaming around looking for a body to possess?

That’s the worst kind of karma. To not even get relief with death. 

What if the next time you get sent back, you return as a recipient of and to the exact world you created before? All you worked to prepare, or didn’t work to prepare, the last time you were here before. 

In other words, y’all ain’t living now like you gotta come back to exactly this. But, what if that’s facts?

I don’t think heaven is a place. I think it’s a state of mind. 

And we got HELLLLLLLLL enough right now. Unless y’all are dying for more?

So, what we gonna do about it?

You risking fate again? You risking rollin’ the die of Life and thinking you’ll get better “luck” next time? 

I don’t like those odds now.

House always wins. And by House, I mean Father God. Mother Holy Spirit. And Jesus. 

If They went to all the trouble to come down and do the whole Virgin birth, be murdered on The Cross thing… then what makes you so sure all you have to do is dodge and wait out the chaos here in order to reach nirvana on the other side?

What if the Truth is much more reasonable? And intellectually honest. 

That a God who goes to all the trouble documented in a book that has survived millennia might just be concerned with your healing more than your comfort?

And if not even one little lamb will be left behind, then what makes you think an about-face would happen in terms of God accepting leaving any part of YOU behind? 

I now don’t think it works like that. 

I now don’t think the answer is you, or ANY one of us, gets to coast on our laurels and get off easy, get off scott-free. 

I fear we come right back round again to the world just as we personally left it. Over and over as long as it takes. Until complete healing for and of ALL is achieved. 

Even beyond humans. The WHOLE Earth, including ALL in it. Every breath, every being, every tree, every cell, every atom.

I think that’s the definition of Justice they didn’t teach us, conveniently: setting things right. As in making straight the way. Putting the broken bones back together. Everyone. And so on.

Versus punishment and destruction.

You think Hitler, and all the other flagrant abusers, escaped retribution? 

I don’t anymore think so at all. I think they got re-shuffled. I think their spirits got recycled. I think they came all the way back around here in a different form. And exist amongst us even now. 

Maybe Hitler is even right now existing as an infant in a mother’s arms. What if Hitler even got sent back as a little Jewish baby this time? To the exact world he created. Wouldn’t that be some shit?!

But what if it’s true? What if the people shooting the guns come back as the babies of the victims they did dirty? 

What if that’s all the luck and deliverance we can expect?

Would you Live differently then?

Any one of the people alive right now could have been someone else in a past life. And will continue to be. Over and over. As long as it takes until every last one of us completely gets it.

That’s what I now believe. That we are all literally one.

No soft landings, buddy. Only real, real Life. 

Until we ALL, every last one, completely get it. That just might be real actual Love.

What if you never get to escape your consequences? What if you only come back as the grandbaby, or something similar, of the person you treated the worst? What if THAT is the best you can expect?

Wouldn’t that be some shit?

I don’t think it’s too far fetched or crazy of an idea.

And if I’m not wrong, I definitely think the majority missed the memo. 

What would you do differently right now if there’s even a chance that what I am saying is true? 

You willing to keep chancing God letting you off the hook scott-free eternally? 

Or is your soul whispering that something in all this might warrant more than the usual flippant cursory dismissal? Maybe there’s enough here worth at least a little more serious self-reflection?

Just sayin’.

For myself first.