Sarah Nyhan

What if I had the power to give you the choice between living two different lives before you were born?

One life would be a life of luxury. You would be guaranteed the safety and resources to make sure you could do whatever you wanted in the physical. And consume whatever you wanted in the physical. Throughout your whole life. You’d always be guaranteed comfort. But you wouldn’t be able to change the world. Or the world for anyone. That’s the one thing you wouldn’t be able to do.

Or you could pick another life. One where you would be guaranteed pain, suffering, sadness, betrayal, disappointment, a lack of physical resources, etc. On a daily basis. Forever. For all your time here. But I could guarantee that you would change people’s lives. You just wouldn’t be able to know who or how much until you reached the end of your time here. Until you passed to the other side. Your life would be supremely uncomfortable, but you would be guaranteed to make a difference. Even though you’d never be able to experience knowing that difference until you were done with your run here.

Would you do it?

Which would you choose?

This is why I am learning more and more that I can’t judge what is good and/or what is bad.

That was the whole point of Job: I don’t see the big picture. Only God sees the big picture. Only God knows how every little decision fits into the bigger picture.

I know what feels good. Or doesn’t. I know what I like. Or don’t like. But I’m not big enough to judge what is good. Or what is bad. Point blank. Period.

Even with the worst that I can imagine. Not at all condoning it. But we just don’t know how it fits into the big picture. All the unfathomable intricacies.

We don’t even know ourselves. We don’t know why we’re here.

We can make it more complicated than it has to be.

I echo similar as to what is recorded in 2 Chronicles: we don’t have a clue, God; please help us keep our eyes on You.

That’s my only hope. Well-placed, I believe. I am not despondent even as I am thoroughly exhausted in nearly every way.