Sarah Nyhan

I believe many men are gifted sons they are initially ashamed of in order to help them face the parts of themselves that they don’t have compassion for. That they haven’t yet made peace with. That they haven’t loved.

But what about daughters? Who are daughters for?

I see so many women who passively despise their daughters. Who are in competition with them. Versus cherishing them. Who hate anything their daughters get that they didn’t get or don’t have.

God forbid a father actually love his daughter. That’s a death sentence for many daughters.

Maybe the woman thinks the man doesn’t really love her. That she somehow tricked him into being with her. And then has to keep tricking him or controlling him to be there.

Maybe the mother wants someone to love her. Someone to adore her. So she has a child.

A lot of people focus on men being inappropriate with their daughters, but I have seen so many women try to turn their sons into surrogate partners. It’s really alarming once you have your eye out to look for it. It’s really gross in my opinion. Especially how it is so socially tolerated. Like there is nothing wrong with women becoming emotionally or otherwise dependent on their sons. It’s not cute. It’s emasculating. I cannot imagine the conflict and rage inside a man whose mother subjects him to her service as a fill-in husband. And I’m not even referring to anything sexual, God-forbid.

But the daughters are on a whole other battlefield. If the mother has a daughter who she expects to worship and adore her. And then that daughter dares to step into her own personhood. Dares to shine and do something different other than becoming a trophy for her mother’s ego.

God-forbid the daughter receive any attention or affection when the mother isn’t fulfilled.

Then you’ll see how evil a woman can be. Where she will hand her daughter over to be hurt. And enjoy her daughter’s pain. Thoroughly.

This is a huge issue with many different things to work out. But basically the mother is very unhealed. And rejected herself long ago. Probably to survive.

But she will never accept her daughter while remaining in that state. She will only see her daughter as a threat until she has done the work she needs to do.

To stop trying to get what she needs from a man. Or a child. To truly trust that God loves her. That she is God’s daughter before she belonged to anyone else. Even herself.

To truly risk being angry with God. Versus continually spewing their bitterness onto their daughters and anyone else that challenges their status quo.

But most aren’t willing to do the work. Most aren’t willing to face their pain, crushing disappointment, and rage. Most aren’t willing to admit their fears.

I hope at least I’ll do my part to show people that you won’t die if you face these things. That it is possible. That healing is worth the work.