Sarah Nyhan

Maybe it comes down to values.

I value being happy and healthy over being rich and obtaining the semblance of approval from others.

That’s why I am so open.

To be the person I needed all this time.

So it isn’t about good or bad. Necessarily. Or ever.

It’s just what you want. What I want.

And I can see how if you feel scared then you wouldn’t risk putting yourself out there.

Maybe I’ve just seen behind the curtain. I know there is nothing really to be afraid of. One of the lessons that I consider a big blessing that was learned from “failure”.

Baxter Kruger said that when shame no longer has power over us then people will no longer have power over us. To destroy or manipulate us. My paraphrasing; he said it much better most likely.

You know, the Israelites didn’t want a relationship with God. They wanted a human to go to instead. And I don’t think times have changed that much since then.

People go to church, they read the Bible, they pray. But have they met God? Have they experienced God? In relationship.

Another blessing in that respect. That I have no one. That I am all alone. Because it forced me to learn how much God loves me.

And destroyed a lot of my ego as well.

But as for trust, when you’re an Israelite who wants a human to turn to instead of God, then of course you don’t want to be open and risk losing the approval of your tribe. Because you depend on them for your resources.

But once you’ve lost everything and watched God show off for you. With no effort of your own. Then you are free. Of course more and more so over time. But that’s when you start to stop being so scared of everyone and everything.

Because perfect Love casts away fear. And I am now convinced that I am already perfectly Loved.

So why would I settle for someone who isn’t operating out of at least intentionally attempting to head in that direction? Not even why, but how could I move forward with someone that would be moving somewhat backwards in that way?

Without any condemnation by the way. Obviously I am only here by the grace of God. Not much from me.

But that’s what it really comes down to. Are you operating from a place of fear? Or are you operating from a place of knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are absolutely and completely Loved?