Sarah Nyhan

At first I thought I could save the world. Then I beat myself up trying to play that out. Finally I got to the point where I felt like I didn’t have to do that. That living a “normal”, “regular” life was just fine enough.

Even got to the point where I had nothing to prove. “No, it’s fine, God. Look at me – I’m just a loser out here with nothing to prove for any of my big ‘dreams’. It’s fine – I don’t need to write or talk anymore. Nobody’s going to listen to me anyway.”

Then God reminded me of Moses saying the same. Sent out into the desert of his own. To learn how much God Loves ALL the sheep. Shepherds get really dirty. Sheep are really dirty. Certainly not curated for social media. For the acceptance of the elite. “Who would look up to me right now, God? I’m so busted and broke down. Nobody even wants to by my friend. Much less listen to me as some kind of authority.”

But I am an expert in a few things. And God doesn’t need me to be perfect. I just need to be honest. I just need to tell what happened. Then let Holy Spirit do the heavy lifting.

I don’t want to miss out on speaking if it means people will be encouraged. I don’t want someone else to get that blessing. I’ve been through hell and back. I want all of that to mean something. I need this to make sense. Otherwise I am completely without hope.

So here goes nothing. Guess we’ll see.