8/14/2015, 7:31 AM

I went to bed well after 1am. And woke up over an hour ago when it was still dark. With lots of thoughts. I take it as the time God speaks to me because it is probably the only time I am not tuning Him out with all kinds of activity.

Still no peace about leaving San Antonio or [church] or my current job. Or chasing after the money for money’s sake career or education wise. I wish, but no. It is confirmed again.

God has given me a field to work. That is my real job no matter whether or where or what my employment or profession or business may be.

The field I am called to work is the people He has brought into my life. The people whose lives He has brought me into. It is the people He has given me access to. The audience of my circle of influence. From the person in passing, to the acquaintance, to those here for a season, to those for life.

How well do I work this field?

It is simple. Not complicated. Not fixing or saving people. Simply loving them, discipling them, speaking truth, being a true friend to them.

From the heart by choice. Only through the strength of constantly turning to God for His strength, joy, love, grace, and provision moment by moment.

An emptying versus collecting. So He can fill me up. Cleaning out the sin in my life, the sin in my heart. To be a useable vessel. A blank slate. For the Lord to shine through. Not me.

But yet because of the uniqueness of who I’ve been created to be. Versus in spite of who I am.

How deep am I willing to go?

How far will I allow my heart to be stretched by Him?

Will I trust Him with everything?

With all of my hopes and dreams?

Do I believe He loves me as much as He calls me to love others?

As I am faithful in the few then He will open the door for more.

But to whom much is given, much is required.

This is a different kind of life. Full of adventure. Rich adventure.

But a laying down, by choice, of the pursuit of self for these few remaining hours in this earth suit.

Eternal perspective. I am already dead. I am already alive and living outside of these physical dimensions.

This is the work I am called to. Will I lay down my fears and participate?