Dr. Roger Newell from George Fox University wrote the following that I really like and wanted to share:
“…I have been re-reading a classic by my old Ethics prof from seminary, Lewis Smedes, who wrote Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts we Don’t Deserve. It’s full of practical wisdom, moving personal stories and clarification about what forgiveness is and isn’t.
“For example he writes about ‘some nice things that forgiveness is not’ and mentions tolerance. He tells about a pastor who had affairs with numerous women in his congregation. Was he forgiven? Yes. Was he removed from the ministry and did he have his ordination revoked? Yes.
“Smedes writes: ‘We don’t have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run… You do not excuse people by forgiving them; you forgive them at all only because you hold them to account and refuse to excuse them… You do not forgive people merely by accepting them; you forgive people who have done something to you that is unacceptable. You do not have to tolerate what people do when you forgive them for doing it; you may forgive people, but still refuse to tolerate what they have done.'”