Choose Life

Funny conversation with a friend yesterday. I mentioned how I’ve heard it said that sometimes people unconsciously try to determine “God’s will” for their lives, as it pertains to direction outside what is specifically provided for in the Bible, so that when things go wrong/poorly then they can blame the outcome on God versus taking responsibility for their own choices/decisions/actions. My friend mentioned that other times people try to blame the devil instead of God. And then the funny part was she said the devil probably gets mad at that and says, “Oh that wasn’t me! Believe me, I could have done way better at messing things up than that!” 😁

We are probably our own worst enemies. Taking responsibility for our choices/actions/decisions can be an extremely rude awakening for those who have been using “signs” as a spiritual Magic 8 Ball. I’m first in line, unfortunately. Well-intentioned, to be sure. Even if at least somewhat selfishly motivated by wanting any and all “blessings” associated with “pleasing God”.

What if your spiritual security doesn’t depend on what you do? What if you’re already completely accepted and loved?

What if God, The Great Physician, prioritizes your healing over your comfort? What if He lets you insist on going off and wasting everything until you are sitting in a mud pile with the pigs and wishing to eat some of their slop? Because He knows that will bring the greater healing that you even have prayed for? Not to “please” Him, although He rejoices in your healing. Not to punish you; “it is finished!”

I think that’s what the wrath of God FOR you looks like. Not anger against you. But undying passionate love for only your best.

Do we want the God that loves us more than we love ourselves? The God who wants more for us than we even can conceptualize for ourselves?

Or do we just want Santa Claus? Or a spiritual sugar daddy? “Just tell me what will make you happy, Jesus. Tell me what I got to do.”

Ugh. I can barely write those words. But if you really think about it, that’s the demonic witchcraft at work in how religion attempts to reduce the unfathomable depths of God’s love and relationship with us down to transactions or manipulations.

God is not tricky. He thinks more highly of us than we think of ourselves. Enough to come down and let us abuse Him and murder Him. Without retribution. And from that same heart He gives us freedom to choose how we are going to LIVE this life He gave to us. We are little creators made in the image of our Creator.

Not students here on a lifetime final exam. Not children of a father that needs conformity for his ego. Not captive participants in some sick game.

You have the freedom to fail. And the freedom to succeed. Choose life. It feels like starting over. It might feel like the most difficult thing you’ve ever had to do. But He’s been with you all along. And He’s never going to leave you. Ask Him where He is. Ask Him to help you see.

Perfect love casts out fear.

What Do You Know?

I’m the person who is mildly annoyed with having so many options to choose from in the toilet paper aisle at the grocery store. 😄 So it’s a bit unsettling to have so many options available when attempting to plan my life for 2018 without knowing where I will be working. First world problems; blessed to have them. But, problems nonetheless.
Some know how I used to rely so much on “signs” and trying to muster up “great faith” as ways to feel some measure of control over the future. After learning the hard way over and over, I think I’m finally leaving the miracles up to God’s discretion. And quit thinking I can foretell the future. How many times has He shown me His ways and thoughts are higher than mine? Thankfully.
There’s a tricky balance because I still believe He can do anything. And I still believe there are desires in our hearts that might be seeds of something greater. But I’m leaving behind what I now call the witchcraft. Just going to make practical decisions based on wisdom. Do my best and trust God with the rest. Living loved, but not lazy or crazy.
Probably a lot of people don’t agree with me. Especially those that are religious. I myself have run the whole gamut from name-it-and-claim-it to feeeeeeling like I’ve been “called” to do such-and-such or feeeeeeeling like I know what God is saying. Not so sure anymore. When I’m passionate about something, I throw my whole self into it. So I think I’ve sufficiently humiliated (and hopefully humbled) myself enough trying to go down that path over and over in the past to have learned a few things.
Haven’t lost my belief in God at all. Just putting extremely little faith in my ability to discern what He is thinking or doing beyond what He’s already told and shown us. Approaching God and life more like a child now. Doing my best to stumble along in limited understanding. Trusting that is somehow enough because I’m His kid and He loves me. Long before I knew or loved Him.
That being said, I’m ok with being corrected if I’m wrong. Enjoying newfound freedom from the taskmaster of perfectionism. For once in my life. Failure is not the end of me. Failure is not an indication of my value. Failure is at least an indication that I had the courage to live, to put myself out there. Failure is hopefully a growing opportunity. Learn from it, recalibrate, try again, and never give up.