Already Included #18 – Beeee Still

By Sarah Nyhan

This afternoon I am sitting in the living room when I start to hear furious buzzing! I look to the window and see a bee flying up and down trying to get out. He doesn’t seem calm, rather his buzzing indicates anger.

I wanted to help but I was afraid he wouldn’t see my interference as help and would instead attack me. So I opened the front door which was less than a foot away. And waited.

I hoped Mr. Bee would realize that I had opened the door, but he was so focused on his own way that he didn’t realize me or the gigantic opening available to him if only he’d be open to another way.

I sat there wondering how long this might take. I couldn’t go back to my work. I needed to make sure he was out so I could close the door. I decided to pray. “Lord, please help the bee find the door and fly out.”

Nothing. Buzz, buzz, buzz. Up and down he went over and over literally banging his head trying to get where he wanted to go when there was a huge open door just a little step away.

So then I wondered if I could somehow mentally communicate with the bee and tell him to move. Not really expecting it to work, but happy if it did. “Bee, move to the right, move to the right.”

Nothing. He’s as lost as ever. So I’m standing there staring at the bee and wondering what to do next.

Soon these people start walking outside and talking. Then a big truck drives by. Then a hawk calls. Then birds start chirping. And the breeze is whipping in. Surely the bee could hear and feel how close his freedom was just a foot away?

No change. Finally I realize this is a metaphor for me. God knows I need pictures like this.

The bee represents those people that I want to experience the same freedom that I now experience. We are both looking at God, but they are separated from the experience that I get to enjoy by such a small but important difference.

I want them so badly to stop banging their heads and just take one extra step over and consider another way that will help them see God to be greater than they already know.

Yet, in my previous attempts these past two years of trying to intervene and “help” people get to freedom, I have not been well-received because they don’t think I am helping.

Now I’ve learned to step back, but I admit I get impatient. I still try to pray them in or send them thoughts hoping something will get through.

Finally with the bee today, I started to pray for myself. “What should I do, God?” I felt like He gave me the sense that I should do nothing other than to share this story. After I started writing, the bee changed course and flew through the open door and out into freedom.

The lesson for me was to stop focusing on changing other people. Holy Spirit was fully invested and completely able to get me where I needed to be. In the same manner, God is also revealing Himself to everyone else.

In the meantime, I feel like the most I can do is embrace what I experience and simply share my story. Just beeee still and know that He is God.

A well-lived life, marked by genuine love for others, and the genuine fruits of love that grow as we experience our Creator’s unending passion for us, will speak volumes more than the most carefully-crafted theological defenses.

A sure change from times past. Where it all depended on us. Now I begin to actually live and truly love.

God’s got us.

Already Included #9 – Lazarus

Several people have asked me about my thoughts on the parable of Lazarus and the Rich Man in regards to this already included gospel. This is my response for now:

In Luke 16, Jesus references a man named Lazarus. The only other mention of a Lazarus in the Bible is a man named Lazarus from Bethany. We do not know for sure, but I imagine those in the area would be very familiar with the real life experience of Jesus raising this Lazarus of Bethany from the dead. That story must have spread like wildfire and surely made it to the ears of the religious leaders. So if the religious leaders knew Jesus was friends with this Lazarus of Bethany, when Jesus started this story by referencing a “Lazarus” then I’d guess Lazarus of Bethany came to their mind. Which is important.

Everyone who heard this story would know it would be very ironic that Jesus would be saying that Lazarus was dead. That in itself would lead them and us to know it wasn’t meant to be a literal story about real people. Meaning it wasn’t a literal story meant to tell us something about a literal experience about a literal hell. There must be some other point to this parable. I think Jesus using the name Lazarus, to refer to a dead person, would probably have purposely caught their attention and helped them dig for a deeper meaning. In real life, the real Lazarus was raised from the dead by Jesus after being physically ill. By contrast, it was the religious leaders who shunned the sick and needy on the premise that outward manifestations of such a degree were indicators of internal sin and not being right with God.

We struggle with the same issue today: “But God, I know all of the right answers. Why is evil so-and-so being ‘blessed’ and I am not?” I think Jesus was saying to the religious leaders then what He would still say to us now: do not live by physical sight. There is more out there than what you see in front of you. Than what your religious traditions are telling you. There is so much more going on. God is way bigger than the boxes we try to put Him in.

If we applied our own logic about the blessings/righteousness correlation to Jesus, then how could we ever believe in Him? He led by example. He did not come like an earthly king or the mythical gods in our minds. He started out appearing as a bastard child. He started out being covered by humans in shame. Born not as a celebrated Savior by those who postured authority. We had no room for this God. We stuck Him in a barn with the animals. We treated Him as such His whole life. This Creator of every glorious beauty we can find and imagine. We whooped Him. We treated Him worse than we would treat an animal. He had no earthly home. All abandoned Him. Yet He was God. Was He separated from His Father because of sin? Of course not. John 8:29.

Jesus promised us tribulation, but He said He overcame the world. Whatever circumstances we find in these present times is not a reflection of any degree of being better than anyone else. The religious leaders knew this in their hearts. Surely their consciences were pricked. Not just to be irritated; I think with love The Lord is shaking their flimsy pedestals. His passionate wrath is always FOR them – also. For those that He knows will deal with their fear in the only way they see how: by destroying what threatens their thin sense of security.

The rich young ruler knew it. Nicodemus knew it. Something just wasn’t quite right and settled in them. They had everything they were supposed to have and yet there still was unrest and a lack of peace. But they were the ones who were supposed to know everything. So Jesus meets them wherever they are and He uses their own logic to shake them awake. Always loving them. Not being repulsed by their blindness or their sin. It is we who hide in trees of fig leaves. Seeking all sorts of emperors’ clothes to cover the shame we feel. God asks us where we are hiding. Not to punish us. But to turn our eyes back to Him. To see who He really is. The gates of our hell are always open. We are always welcome to return home to the Father’s heart.

These religious leaders know there is something different about Jesus. They are drawn to Him even as their house of cards is threatened by the highest authority of actual Truth. His passionate wrath for their freedom and full restoration means He can’t leave them unchallenged. He can’t stand by quietly as they persist in what is killing them. Knowing full well that He can take all they throw at Him. Like a dad correcting the toddler. Knowing the toddler doesn’t get it, but it will be better for the child in the long run. Knowing the child will throw a tantrum. Not threatened by it in the least. Even better than the best human dad. No ego. Completely unthreatened by whatever we can imagine to throw back at Him. We are and always have been safe. Not some theological exercise. He proved this in the flesh, His flesh. He cried tears and sweat blood for us. Fully God, fully Father, fully Jesus. Again, for us. For His great love for us. Not accepting that any should perish.

I think Jesus is pushing their and our logic to its ultimate end. Not to leave them alone and abandoned. Just the opposite. To show them they can’t and don’t need to do it all alone. More importantly, they never were meant to do it alone. Even more specifically: they have never been alone. Never separated. Just because they turned away and couldn’t see does not mean their perspective is reality. It was never about money, works, or knowledge.

Nicodemus: be born again. Rich young ruler: be perfect. Rich men: be Lazarus. It’s impossible. THEIR logic pushed to its limits. So their hearts can be open and ready to see and listen for something other than empty rhetoric. Ready for another way of looking at themselves, this life, and God.

For more on my thoughts about the rich young ruler, please see https://sarahnyhan.com/2017/11/16/asceticism/

Already Included #8 – Accountable

I was telling someone the other day that the initial response religious people tend to give me when I tell them that I believe everyone is already included is then that means I am telling people they can do whatever they want. Yes, that is true – but not complete.

Previously I thought everything was transactional. So if I did X then God was supposed to do Y. Or if God did Y then I received X. There was even some talk of the devil, but he was still on God’s leash per se.

Now I see differently with this already included knowledge. I’m not completely settled yet on God having a totally hands-off approach with humans. But irregardless, we still have a great measure of freedom that we are accountable for. For really the first time in my life I am now taking responsibility for my choices. With complete freedom comes complete responsibility. I am waking up and realizing that I have been the cause of special slices of literal hell that I have experienced.

Even if there are contributing factors, I get to decide to a certain extent how long I want to let those circumstances define my narrative and the quality of my life. For example, there may be things that are outside of my control that are the reason that I started gaining weight and have continued to hold onto that weight. Fair enough. However, at what point do I allow those factors to define the rest of my story? At what point do I say I want a better life and take the steps that are now in my control and do what I can do to feel better?

This has been a shock to my entire mode of being. If I didn’t have the hope and love of Jesus then I would be overwhelmed by the magnitude of what this means for my life. However, there has been another unexpected benefit from the realization that I am responsible for many if not all of my actions, decisions, etc. That great surprise to me is that for maybe the first time in my life, I feel empowered to also hold others responsible for their choices and in turn not accept people treating me poorly. Let me clarify a little more:

I experience being treated poorly for specifically what I believe about God and this already included message. I have been dismissed and treated as a heretic. And there is a certain level of acceptance of this behavior because it’s kinda part of the gig when you sign up for this line of thinking.

As much as I’d like to think that people who I previously knew as mostly rational would process what I am presenting from a logical perspective, the whole point in the first place is that they are blind. And they are blinded in a large part by fear. So when I go dancing around all that fear then logic has a tendency to fly out the window. Instead, people’s responses reflect their wrong thinking.

To a certain measure, I can accept their reactions without reacting or holding it against them. For instance, when my friends suddenly label me as deceived, a heretic, with the devil and false teachers – ok, that is really sad and pushes all of my buttons, but I don’t have to react. I can put my ego aside to a large extent and trust them to the Holy Spirit. If anything, that is a certain “cross” we bear as we walk in the steps of Jesus.

Yet, there is a fine line there. Even though they disagree with me, there is a still a certain level of human-to-human respect that I think is healthy and kind to expect from them. They can be adamant with their disagreement with me, but that shouldn’t automatically translate into me permitting them to treat me poorly. Or me excusing their poor behavior due to their theology.

Shouldn’t it be the opposite? In theory, if their theology is so great, shouldn’t the love be expressed even more so?

To permit them to treat me poorly is to enable them to repeat how religious people of so many times have managed to alienate so many from the God they claim loves them. It is religious groups going in and attempting to justify their abuse of indigenous peoples by their “unbelief”. In the extreme, it is Hitler “cleansing” the Jews.

As a human, I have to stand up to that wrong behavior. Previously I thought I was “suffering for the cause of Christ” when I put up with it without resisting.

There is the fine line. Yes, I suffer for the cause of Christ, but enabling you to continue to hurt me – without resisting – is now in my opinion where things go awry. Where the grace, love, and acceptance of this already included message goes too far.

To attempt to glorify my inaction in the name of Jesus is in some way blasphemy. This walk requires courage that is infused only by the life abundant that we fully experience as we embrace the kingdom of God being truly at hand. To back down from that – and I only speak for myself – is hiding the light in me out of fear; taking the salt out of my life. It is letting fear be my god, not God. It is blasphemy in that respect.

Are we not beloved children? I must stand with David. What these Goliaths are saying is not ok. To be silent – how can I? If this means Pilot’s wife accuses me of rape and I get sent to prison, well – I have Joseph’s life as my hope. If this means I have to be bold like Esther, it is only the love of God that empowers me. To stand by and not say anything – what then is the point of this life? This Promised Land is already mine. Will I turn back now? After I’ve been brought so far?

And so because I believe in the unending love of Christ, that does not mean I sign up to be your whipping boy with no reservations. Jesus did all that ever needed to be done in that respect. He tells me not to continue to throw my pearls before swine. They will trample me. He tells me to turn away and go find others when you run me out of town. And there are others, thank God.

May I still be stoned like Steven? It wouldn’t surprise me. As much as I dislike it, I now see why Paul says it is an honor to experience these sufferings – while at the same time wishing with all my heart that those accusers would be friends again “in the faith”.

At the end of the day, not all will be converted in this life. And that’s not my responsibility. But, I am responsible for what I extent I submit myself to your treatment of me. That is the short of it.

And in making that decision, I ask myself: “to what end?” Yes, call me all the names in the book. But to what end does it serve me to not call you out on your logic and keep submitting to your hurtful behaviors towards me? Am I then not some marytr on a cross but rather just simply appeasing you so that I don’t have to face your wrath?

And resisting doesn’t necessarily mean reacting. Resisting doesn’t necessarily mean confronting or speaking up. All of those may happen. Hopefully organically with an abundance of love. With a heart for healing amd restoration. Is it not God’s passionate wrath that refuses to give up on us also?

Resisting simply means for me most of the time, a renewed effort to live more honestly. To at least address the elephants in the room. And to protect the freedom and truth that lives inside of me. Not to force it on others. But to be vigilant to not allow anything that threatens this new life to setup camp in my space. Whether internal or external.

These boundaries change as I grow. I still feel like I am in the early stages. Much like how you care for a newborn infant. You protect it from most of the elements.

Yet, even in a year I can see growth in being able to sit more with others in silence and let them be where they are. When called for. Trusting God loves them more than I ever could.

Outright bad behavior that does not have any direct correlation to treating me differently because of my beliefs is also impacted by this already included message sinking deeper into my heart. I am referencing your typical human who has probably been hurt in the past and learned how to obtain a measure of power and control by then hurting others before they ever risk vulnerability. As much as I attempt to understand it, bad behavior is still wrong.

Before, I felt like I was encouraged by religious leaders to accept outright abuse in the name of Christ. That it was somehow to God’s glory if I allowed someone to mistreat me. Somehow allowing them to continue hurting me was incorrectly labeled as forgiveness and love. Blasphemy!

Even our precious Bible says God disciplines those He loves and judgement begins in the house of the Lord. And to spare the rod is to hate the child. Yet, as Paul references in the New Testmanent, there are wolves that have manipulated us because we allowed guilt to speak louder than God in our lives.

Now that I understand the TRUE love of God, i have found the courage to even hold the kings of this earth accpuntable for treating people kindly. Nevermind their position calling them to an even higher standard, to lead by example.

This is so empowering. And yet the difficulty in pinning is that there is no formula. The child throwing a temper tantrum is not going to get the same treatment as the calculating adult who knows better, or even the blundering adult who claims not to know better.

How I approach each situation is going to be different. And how each person responds to being told they are doing something hurtful is also going to factor into how I proceed further. I can stick around longer when there is proof of a person’s desire to change and do better. Even as they fumble through the process.

All these things have always mattered. Most of the religious leaders told me otherwise. Maybe because they had their own demons they hadn’t faced. Maybe in teaching acceptance of abuse, they then excused themselves from having to confronting difficult people.

Whatever the reason, if I know better then I need to do better. I absolutely do not want to confront anyone either. But this responsibility works both ways. Not only am I reponsible for what I do, but I am also responsible, as much as I have the power to do so, for what I allow others to do to me. And that in turn means I am holding them more accountable and more responsible for their behavior and choices.

Some of those who speak this “grace message” are still human. They have been raised and allowed to treat people a certain way. Old habits die hard. Especially when unchallenged.

I don’t care if everything we say is true, this message is most loudly communicated relationally in how we treat other people. Especially those we claim to love. And having the right answers doesn’t exempt us from living this out.

What does it matter if this message only enters our brain and not our heart? That is like the group of Israelites who chose to camp right outside the Promised Land. They battle with us but won’t go in. There is still plenty of territory to be claimed.

How great is this love! But if you still won’t let it in then you are blind . If you still squirrel away fears and vulnerabilites under fig leaves then what is the point of so much studying? This applies to me first.

This is real life and living. There seems to be a false security in the confines of religious doctrine and practice. I can wrap my mind around theology.

But tru freedom in Christ is as if I suddenly went from primary colors to accessing the entire spectrum. Now life is not based on what rules we keep. Now what matters most is who we are. All our choices matter.

What will we do will all of this? We start with ourselves and whatever is in front of us. The adventure only just beginning.