I am posting a lot of my writings. They are in no particular order for now. Most of this is very old and from a long time ago.
This time I was able to get my words out. I told the school counselor that I was the one who set the fires. But I made sure to iterate that I didn’t want to hurt anyone.
There were now other people brought into the room. The school counselor was in front of me and being very nice to me. Asking me to tell her again what I said. And I told her that I had lit the fires the previous two days.
They kept asking me for details. Like they didn’t believe me. I was trying to convince them that it really was me. I had the distinct feeling that they were having a really hard time coming to grips with the fact that me, this quiet honor roll kid, was the one causing all these problems. Versus the “bad kids” at school who were the usual troublemakers.
I had started cutting myself by that time. And I don’t know if she saw it or if I showed it to her as a way of telling her that I was “crazy” enough to light fires, but at some point my sleeve is pulled up and she is looking at cuttings I made on my arms with a razor blade that were still in the healing process.
And I told her that I had also sprayed graffiti on the mirrors and the doors in the bathrooms before. Many times before I set the fires.
More adults started coming in to talk to me. I think the vice principal was one. I don’t know if I ever met her before, but I immediately liked her. She seemed nice. More concerned than angry. And then the main principal came in to speak with me. I was scared of her because she had a commanding energy. But she also seemed like someone who was fair and not taking things personally.
All while this was going on, I really just wanted to talk to my regular counselor. That’s all I was wanting. If I saw her and talked to her then I knew she’d help me know what to do and help me face whatever I needed to face. And fix whatever I could fix. But I didn’t get to talk to her.
But other adults were called instead. And I was taken to a mental hospital in another city. I just remember an adult female saying as we drove towards the mental hospital, “Why are you doing this to me?”
And that was precisely one of the big problems. There was no concern expressed for me or my well-being. It was all about her. Yet again.
Music I’m listening to, discovered, or rediscovered.
- 2 Chainz ft. Dolla Boy, Raekwon – Letter to da Rap Game
- Calli Boom & Godmode – From Zero (Magic Free Release)
- Dubbo – Don’t Tempt Me
- Hezekiah Walker – Every Praise
- Lil’ O – If I Could Then I Would
- Monolink – Erik Satie: Gnossienne No. 1 (Monolink Nostalgia Remix)
- Mooski – Track Star
- Naúx – Comme Neo Dans Matrix
- Randy Travis – 1982 (2021 Remaster)
- Randy Travis – Send My Body (2021 Remaster)
Other content I’ve consumed.
- Being mindful with kids is so important! Teaching them body autonomy and respect is crucial
- Best summer drink!! You must try it spicy watermelon lemonade
- Making dinner for my hard to please momma picadillo de res
- My most viral shrimp loaded potato!! One of my best lunches
- Packing lunch for my husband and coworkers! Big poppa pork belly sliders
- Packing lunch for my husband. easy but delicious
- Poor People Believe in KARMA becuase they Have no POWER False Narritives are Alive and Well
- The best drink for this summer! Watermelon lemonade
- The secret to refried beans!
- They got a taste of The big poppa!packing lunch for hubby&workers
Lightning over the bay in Corpus Christi, Texas.
Sarah Nyhan 