I was in middle school. There was a boy in the neighborhood who was six months younger than me. I noticed him and wanted to get closer to him. To my surprise, he asked me to be his girlfriend. But I told him no because I knew an adult male would make my life a living hell if he found out.
However, this kid was persistent and always made me laugh. So eventually I relented after he kept asking me over and over. But I was so scared that I wouldn’t even let him hold my hand at first.
He didn’t let that deter him. He stuck close to me. And I started to get attached to him. Started to feel safe and protected with him. Because he didn’t seem to be scared of anyone or anything.
We had good times. I remember the first kiss. And him making jokes as he held me when we hid together in the freezing cold while playing hide-and-seek with the other kids in the neighborhood.
But the adult male eventually found out about him and gave us hell. As expected. Threatening him. Not wanting him on the property. Completely blowing the situation out of proportion. We were just kids. But my boyfriend didn’t seem intimidated.
He went on an extended vacation during the summer. He would write and mail me notes that I waited earnestly for. Telling me to hang in there and not kill myself.
One Christmas he bought me a necklace. I tried hiding it from the adults by wearing it inside my shirt. But eventually the adult male saw it when we were taking a walk. He stopped and immediately made me take it off. Then he marched up to the boy’s house and gave the necklace back to his parents.
I was embarrassed and completely confused. What was the harm in me having a necklace?
I felt so bad for this boy. For his sweet act. Getting me that gift. And then having that adult male’s wrath poured out on him.
Really devastated me. I sank into feeling even more hopeless. It wasn’t enough that they had to hurt me. No, they also had to rip away any shred of happiness and love that anyone else gave me.
It wasn’t too much longer before we left that neighborhood. I was moved to a different city. I didn’t see that boyfriend ever again.
Years passed before I found him and we reconnected on social media. I was able to apologize to him. But I still hate that he had to go through everything he went through with me.
While at the same time I am so thankful for him. His love and joy helped me stay alive during those very dark times.
And the last I heard, he made a career as a jeweler.
Music I’m listening to, discovered, or rediscovered.
- 4 Non Blondes – What’s Up
- Gramatik – 23 Flavors
- Master P – Make ‘Em Say Ugh
- MEMBA ft. EVAN GIIA – Walls Down
- Nirvana – Come As You Are
- Nirvana – Heart-Shaped Box
- Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit
- Radiohead – Creep
- Swimming Paul – Fading
- The Verve – Bitter Sweet Symphony
Other content I’ve consumed.
- 5 Proven Strategies for Finding Good Deals in Real Estate!
- Connect To You Uniqueness I Robert Greene
- How To Get To The Next Level In Business
- How to overcome insecurity
- Joe Rogan Reflects on Elon Musk Podcast
- Shopping Carts Were Invented To Trick You Into Buying More Groceries
- Some Of The Fittest People Have The Worst Mental Health
- Suffer in Silence Doesn’t Work Anymore
- “They Want To Kill Us!” – Are We Close To a War With China?
- Was I handy before owning my laundromat?
Sarah Nyhan 