One day the caterpillar goes off by itself, folds into itself, dissolves itself, and then completely rebuilds itself. Then the butterfly gains the strength to fly by fighting to break out of the mold it used to be. If you try to make it easy for the butterfly by breaking the mold for it, it’s wings won’t be strong enough and it won’t be able to fly.

Just comforts me. To know that taking the time to be by myself and dissolve all the old parts of me that aren’t needed to move forward – that it isn’t punishment or not being able to be with people. It isn’t abandonment. It is necessary. (And so yeah, let’s stop fighting the process and get on with it already.)

I feel like I’m coming to the end of many years of everything dissolving away. And hopefully entering into the rebuilding stage. However long that takes. But all the work I do inside, all the work I only see (although others see some of it), eventually it will pay off. I just gotta stick with it.

I can’t stay a caterpillar forever. That was just the beginning. There is more coming. If I can just hang in there. Keep my eye on the prize. Keep pushing. Keep working. Sometimes it is a long, long time before we see the harvest. We keep planting and planting and it doesn’t seem like anything is happening from the outside. But inside so much is taking root. Just gotta be patient. Something we’re a lot less used to in modern times.

But if you are in a season where you are by yourself, it doesn’t mean that season will last forever. Lean in. Ask what today holds. Embrace the process. Just because others are not currently doing the same doesn’t necessarily mean you are wrong. Or that they won’t also have their day.

Remember, we pray for these things. Don’t be surprised if you get to go first. If you start becoming the example others eventually look up to. Because you are strong enough. Or know Who to turn to when you’re not.

I could be wrong but I feel like big, big changes are coming to the world eventually. And some of us are living the preview in advance. Maybe to help the others navigate through when the global changes hit. I don’t know. Just my feeling. If the shoes fits.

Yes, God is all about relationship. But that includes the relationship with ourselves. After our relationship with Trinity. And before our relationships with others. Not the order we probably prefer. But just encourages me that if God Loves me enough to think this time spent on myself is that important to isolate me this much, then okay – embrace it. Start to value myself a lot more in that way. And value this part of the journey. That feels incredibly lonely. But as long as there is meaning and hope – we can endure. With constant contact with God – we can navigate this time of transformation.