I am reading A More Christlike Word by Brad Jersak as part of a study group I am attending. I am going to be sharing some of my reflections as I read the book. Here is my third reflection:

We thought before that study of the book led to change. Versus relationship with God. Did we turn people towards a book instead of first turning them to Christ? Were we more comfortable with being able to control the narrative if we turned them towards the book versus turning them towards Christ? Were we scared we wouldn’t have all the answers or that we would lose control if we turned them towards Christ versus having them focus on a book?

I don’t want to be your leader. Hell, I don’t even have answers for me and my life. In fact, I have way more questions than answers now that I’m down this path. And I’m perfectly okay with that. I have the most peace I’ve ever experienced. I sleep very well at night. But I want you to go to Jesus. Because you need to hear Spirit as only Spirit can speak to your soul. I’m happy to share my experiences, but I am not your guru.

And I also don’t have to be your savior or your mother. I can’t even save myself. I need a mother myself. I’m sorry about that. For you and for me. But is Spirit not enough? I trust so. It’s one of the ways I’ve been healing. By not having to be everything to everyone. By being able to put up boundaries and trust Trinity with the outcome.

My ego would love to be all things to all people. But I haven’t yet been able to please even one person. Much less everyone.