I am responsible for allowing my peace to return. When someone’s heart is not for me. People can be with you, but not for you. It’s often not what someone is doing TO you, but rather what they are NOT doing. For some, this takes time to figure out. Especially when with their words they claim my same beliefs and values.
I am not willing to go back. I am not willing to give up my peace for you. I am not willing to die for you. Jesus already did that. I tried enough. Year after year you let people walk away. People just like me. So I don’t think the answer is to stay. Otherwise I risk becoming an angry liar also. Denying the truth of my being. In many ways.
In only a short time, I can already feel your words seeping like tar into me. The blackness of darkness forever. Sucking up all the joy. Making them twice the sons of hell that you are. It’s dangerous. On many levels. I have to guard my mind. I have to guard my heart. I am sad for you. I have to leave you to God.