Outcome

It is interesting how shifts can be so subtle. Learning to let go of outcomes. Painfully learning. There is such a stubbornness to hold onto my expectations. Over time I see that God always loves me.

If I look at the negative things, my eyes fall from Jesus to the waves and I start sinking. If I remember, probably thanks to Holy Spirit, all the times God has provided supernaturally then my mind relaxes and I can let go of the outcomes that I expect.

Even when everything looks bad. Even when I don’t understand. Even… You get the point. It is real trust. Not knowing how the dance will end and still getting out on the floor. Not needing to be in any moment other than this one. Easier said than done.

How is it working for you the other way? When have you ever had control? I think we have a lot of choice. Not a paradox. Just another side of the same prism. Learning how it all fits together. Haven’t arrived yet. Living. Actually living. For once. Not from or in just my mind. But the whole me engaging. Waking up. From years and years of sleep. Of blindness.

How great Thou art. This little sheep needs a Good Shepherd. More than anything. More than the need to know. Peace is letting go to a certain extent. Is not pulling on the leash. Is reopening our hearts.

Speak to us, God. Rather, help us to hear. Even then in Your good time. You do not quench the smoking flax or break the broken reed. You restore. You heal. You mend us. You make everything beautiful in good time.

You, who paints magnificent sunsets, You who holds us dearly in the cocoon of unfathomable galaxies, You who can hold millenniums of scientists captivated by the depth of the smallest elements we can find, You who knows doors to far greater things than our imaginations can spin out – You love us. You know us by name. You care about even the little things that nobody else knows.

We are so blind. I pray for eyes to see and ears to hear. I pray real comfort and real peace for our weary hearts. You are always here. All along. Inside. All around. May we be still and know You.