Comparing Pain

I don’t know yet why this is still a thing, but I often hear people say that because one person has it bad, that means all those with problems to a “lesser” degree do not have it bad. That is not good logic. Just because you have two amputated limbs and I only have one amputated limb does not mean that you have pain and I do not have pain. Pain is pain. Just because you think you have it worse than me does not mean that I don’t have it bad also.

I was thinking yesterday that anger must be a lot easier to sit with than sadness. I see people with great anger and then beneath there is this deep sadness just waiting to burst forth. Anger must feel more empowering. There must be a sense of control and power with anger versus maybe a helplessness associated with sadness. These people, sometimes myself included, experience anger that seems disproportionate to the situation at times. May we explore in those times and ask ourselves what sadness we have not allowed ourselves to feel? What disappointments? What fears?

I am learning recently that there is a difference between living from your mind and living from your heart. Decisions sometimes seem more difficult to make when processed through the mind without the heart. I’m not talking about being reckless; hurting people is not ok. I’m saying on a bigger more general level we are out of touch with our hearts. Only with deep love do we have wings to risk being vulnerable and hoping for more than what our brain can reason.

It is a poverty mentality that thinks I have to take from you to get some of my own. Versus there being enough for both of us out there. Not realizing how rich and safe we are.

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