Sufficient

God’s strength is sufficient but the process of releasing my desire to be self-sufficient has been full of me kicking and screaming all the way. Part of that resisting has been a stubborn insistence that I must feel better and have answers in order to move forward.

Finally accepted that God will give me the strength to take the next step even if my emotions are not settled and I have no idea what the future holds. Have to accept that I am capable of moving forward even if I don’t feel like it. Honoring the feelings without giving them the power to paralyze me.

My new mantra is: just do the next thing. It’s good enough that I take care of business. I don’t know how religion traps us into thinking the only worthy pursuits are those that change the entire world. Paying your bills, taking care of your space, cooking a tasty meal, enjoying Creation, loving well the ones you’re with – those are significant accomplishments. Focusing on what I do know and leaving God the rest. Leaving Him the business of greatness.

Our economy is not His economy. His thoughts and ways are higher than our thoughts and ways. It might be the simple “little” thing you do well today that sets in motion events that effect great change in some tomorrow. Everything you do today is planting seeds. Even giving a stranger a smile.

I think He delights to participate with us to help blow up the small boxes we and others try to put Him in. But at the end of the day, is His opinion enough for me? Do I find my identity in Him alone? What parts of me still do I still allow to be held hostage by the opinions of others?