Boxing

I’m learning to run to God more. My Trainer. My Coach. My Physician. I’m amazed how He lifts me back up and gets me going again.

I’ve never really leaned in before like I’m learning to do now. Receiving comfort that I feel like I don’t have to explain or defend. But hope that I wish I could share with the whole world.

Fall onto God. Give Him the whole ugly weight. Don’t take it back. Wait. Ask for the next step.

I think the longer you walk, especially if you pray to be closer and to know God more, the less information you get for the future. It feels sometimes like I literally live minute to minute. Manna. I can’t carry today’s comfort into tomorrow much anymore. I have to go gather anew every day. New mercies. New love.

It takes abiding to a whole other level. I don’t like to be that dependent. It feels scary to let go and trust.

The hard part is releasing my expectations. Being in the moment. Learning to be ok with things not going according to my plan. And being patient. Holding onto His character and His promises even when all circumstances are screaming the opposite.

My strength fails but thankfully He pours out a fresh new batch every time I ask. Just amazes me. I am a tiny undetectable speck in the universe and feel the presence of our Creator. Just blows my mind. And I’m not “special”; He’s there for you in the same way also.

Seek. Knock.

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