Third Floor

The theme of loads continues. My new apartment is on the third floor. I arrive home in the evenings and there is no parking near the building. So, I work to make every trip count.

Tonight I had three trips to make up the stairs. The first two trips, I carried too much. Each time I took an overloaded laundry basket and a super stuffed duffle bag. I had to stop multiple times going up the stairs to put the loads down and redistribute the weight in order to keep going.

I had to take a long break before I made the final trip. As I was making the final climb, I was thinking: it probably took more total time to complete my three heavy trips than it probably would have taken to make five or six light trips. And I wouldn’t be so tired at the end.

My approach to the stairs has also been my approach to life. For years my brain has been in non-stop hustle mode: push, push, push. Always to the maximum. Most recently, I spent the past two years working full-time and going to school mostly full-time while also trying to start several projects and businesses. And I was seeing a lot of good progress.

But then, just like with the stairs, my body called time out. The spirit definitely is willing, but the flesh needs attention.

I’ve been slowly accepting the fact that the theme for awhile has been self-care. Initially I just wanted to add it on as another plate to spin. But just like with the stairs, my overall productivity was reduced dramatically; I had to stop over and over again to regroup.

For the past few months it was to the point where I was literally praying every day for time off to focus on getting myself back in order. Well, I was expecting something like the winning lotto numbers. But instead, my company went out of business.