Free To…

I was talking to someone yesterday about why I don’t go back to certain things from my past. Those things in the past were making me sick and I’m not willing to trade my current health for the comforts from the past.

I had the thought that my current apartment situation is a perfect metaphor. The one picture is part of the ceiling in the bathroom of my old apartment that was making me sick.

The other picture is of my current sleeping situation in the new apartment while I wait for my furniture to be delivered on Friday.

From my friend’s perspective, maybe it looks like I am missing out right now. But even in spite of all my current challenges, I am happier now than I’ve been in 16 years. I have more peace of mind, heart, and soul than I’ve ever had. It’s not always easy but I have way more joy and true freedom than before.

Just like with my apartment, some of the same, but mostly out with the old and in with the new. I settled for less before. Out of desperation. But God is delivering me and giving me a better, higher view.

Just like with my apartment, my life is now stripped down to the bare essentials. Compared to the past, it looks empty in certain ways. But it will be filled again in due time.

But the best of all: I CAN BREATHE! All the pain of barely sleeping on these pillows pales in comparison to being able to wake up and BREATHE and not feel sick. Similarly mainly in the spiritual sense, I was uncomfortable for awhile but it has all been worth it because I don’t feel sick in my mind anymore. My heart doesn’t hurt in the same ways anymore. And I am finally FREE.

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