The theme that keeps popping up for me the past week is: trust.
Trust as in give problems to God and don’t take them back. Let Him fight my battles.
Trust as in abide. Don’t try to do life in my own strength. Bring Him everything. Even the worst stuff. Over and over. He doesn’t get tired of me. He’s not too busy for me. Turn off the electronics, music, everything. Sit still. Read to be reminded of His character. Versus using the Bible as a crystal ball. And then listen.
Trust as in act. I’ve felt led several times recently to make decisions that involved no guarantees and significant risk. In each situation, after I made the difficult decision, I felt like I was only then given new direction for the next step. Along with understanding as to why I was being led to make the difficult decision in the first place. And then also understanding as to why I needed to make the decision and act before knowing why.
Always about trust. Not to measure me. But to increase my experiential knowledge of how trustworthy He is. For greater enjoyment and intimacy I think. Versus some sick game.
I used to think the story about Abraham being asked to sacrifice Isaac was God testing Abraham. Now I see it as rather a beautiful picture of God saying, “I know your deepest fears. I know where you get stuck. I want more for you than you want for yourself. I know that you are going to initially view this through the lens of thinking I AM asking you to perform versus this being an invitation to test Me. To know Me more and better. To know My great love for you. My ways are higher than your ways. My thoughts are higher than your thoughts. I want to bust up the box you think you can put Me in. I want you to see Me and My love as so much bigger than what you have settled for.”
And the best lesson about trust? I don’t have to get anything right. If I make the wrong decision, if I do the wrong thing, if I’m too scared to risk… trust He won’t leave me or forsake me. Just let Him love me.