I’m so happy!

I’m so happy! I’m so happy! I’m so happy! I’m so happy! Thank You, Father! For Your mercy and hope! HOPE! HOPE! Yay! I could dance! I think I did for a few seconds!

I love You, LORD! You are so gracious to me! I don’t deserve it in the least. I failed You in fasting today and You were so generous!

Please Father, as he pointed out, we have insulted You so much more than we have insulted each other. I am so sorry; and I know that isn’t enough. I even need Your help to have the strength to repent.

I hope I can repent and walk with You, Father. I was so stupid to pick other things over You. So stupid. I don’t want to do that anymore, Father. I don’t want to miss out on what You want for me. I have been so selfish and not trusting You.

Thank You for having so much mercy on me with my barely-there faith. Thank You for walking me through this. For pushing me when I was giving up. For not leaving me to myself with my own stupidity and insolence.

I pray You would please help me give that same mercy to others. He had and has every right to not put up with me. And You do also, Father. I thank You for Your patience with me, Father. I thank You so much for giving him patience with me.

Please, please help me to listen and obey You and him. I still don’t understand when to obey him and when not to. I guess always obey him? I don’t know. Please help me know and to trust You with him.

And remember the good in him. That he does love You and his is patient with people.

Please help him. Please help me respect and obey him, Father. I really want to. I don’t want to lose him or You.

This past month has been awful. I hated it. It was so long. So much pain and suffering and I blame myself for it. I didn’t take him or You seriously.

I pray You would help me please fight like a soldier. Fight and run this race. I get so tired, Father. I feel like I won’t even last a few minutes, much less hours, days, weeks, months, and years.

My only hope is in what You have already done. You have pushed me in the right direction so many times when I was satisfied with being wrong. I am so wicked in that.

I ask Your forgiveness, Father. Please do not give up on me. Please don’t leave me to myself. Please have mercy on me.

Please help me to be the same way with others. I can’t do it but I know You can help me.

Thank You so much for him having patience with me. Please help me not to hurt him again. Especially like that.

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