depression. feeling trapped.

i get angry. and my head won’t stop hurting. and i feel sick. and very tired. and very sad.

but once again i was reminded of the definition of insanity. and so I must do something different. “it’s not how you mess up, it’s how you recover.”

so instead of wasting away my life trying to figure out how to get some peace with someone who treats me the opposite of how they say they value me, i started ignoring calls. again.

I won’t tell this person where i am moving.
i won’t answer the phone.
i won’t let this person follow me home from work.
i will delete the messages.

and i will take two very difficult steps forward after taking one step back this weekend.

you will see.
one day things will be different.
they will be better.

i believe in GOD. cause LORD knows i could use a miracle or two.

there is one person who hasn’t given up hope on me. i have next Tuesday to look forward to.

it’s just like running. The more you work at it, the easier it becomes. but damn, do those first few miles feel like you are going to die.